The War Gift - part 7

When they returned to the bedroom that evening, Jarek went to the chest Cailan had been made to lean on to receive his swat, and carefully placed the two tied bundles of hair inside. 

“They will be safe there,” he told him, and Cailan nodded in acceptance.  His owner then approached him and began undoing the button of Cailan’s clothes.  The physical response that elicited from Cailan was a little embarrassing in its speed, but he was starting to think that it might not be a bad thing if he enjoyed his master’s attentions. 

“What are we…going to do?” he asked with a slight pant as Jarek removed his leggings.  He stepped out obediently and was left wearing nothing now but the ring he’d been given and the red collar around his neck.

Jarek, instead of standing up after bending to remove Cailan’s clothes, went fully to his knees and gripped the smaller man’s thighs.  His thumbs rubbed deeply over the skin they touched and his mouth hovered so near to Cailan’s growing erection that the young prince could feel hot breath puff out over his privates.  Blood pooled in his groin so fast that the rush left him dizzy.  Jarek’s grasp on his legs kept him steady.

“You are going to stand straight, petling,” Jarek told him in answer to his question.  “And I am going to enjoy myself down here.  You may grip my shoulders if you need to, but do not grasp my head.”

“Wha…ungh!”  Cailan’s question ended in a noise he couldn’t restrain as his owner’s mouth engulfed him.  He immediately grabbed at Jarek’s shoulders just to keep from buckling under the overwhelming heat and suction enveloping that highly sensitive spot.  “I…can’t…oh my…Jarek!”

The sensations were so much that he didn’t even realize he’d addressed his master so informally.  Just as he thought he would explode with pleasure, the wet heat left him.  He whimpered pathetically and his legs did buckle at that point.  “You…stopped!” he whined pitifully as Jarek caught and lifted him into his arms.

“Because I do not want you to finish just yet, petling.” 

Cailan moaned, making Jarek laugh.  “Be patient, my sweet one.  I have things I want to teach you.”

“I cannot learn now!”

“Oh no, now is quite the perfect time.”  He set Cailan on the soft bed and then settled in next to him.  “You’ve had an eventful day, so I will make my teaching easy to follow.”

Cailan’s eyes were dilated with lust, and his voice revealed the struggle to keep his need contained.  “What must I learn?”

“You are my concubine, my gift, my companion,” Jarek told him.  “I will teach you how to pleasure me…and yourself.  Whatever I do to your body tonight, I want you to do to me in return.”

Cailan looked unsure at first, and when Jarek had them face each other and began moving one hand slowly up and down his back, the younger stayed still.

“Do what I do, sweet one.  Touch me as I touch you.”

Cailan uncertainly moved his hand around to Jarek’s back and began to lightly stroke.  The skin was warm and smooth.  He could feel the strength of his owner’s muscles and the breadth of his shoulders seemed bigger as he traced the area, exploring with his fingertips.

“That’s good, petling,” Jarek whispered.  “Pleasure is better when it is not one-sided.”  His hand roamed lower until it lightly brushed the curve of Cailan bottom.  The smaller man wiggled at the tickling sensation, but grinned shyly and dropped his hand to match the touch.

Jarek grinned back at him and pressed closer to reach Cailan’s mouth.  They kissed and touched until Jarek’s finger pressed gently down Cailan’s crease, causing his concubine to squeak. 

The big man laughed lowly.  “I am certain now I am the first one to touch there.  Return the pleasure to me, my prince.”

Blushing and unsure he really wanted to, Cailan obeyed.  At first he was distracted by Jarek’s touch on him and he barely brushed down the crease.  But Jarek pushed slightly into his touch, causing Cailan’s fingers to press a little deeper and feel the heat of hidden and sensitive skin. 

Jarek clearly saw his uncertainty as he petted and stroked Cailan’s bottom.  “Do not worry and be scared right now, petling,” he instructed.  “It is time just to feel.  Tell me if you do not enjoy something, but otherwise let go.  Be a full part of our pleasure together.”

That was easier done when Jarek captured his mouth in a sensual kiss.  Cailan had learned that he greatly enjoyed his master’s kisses and he welcomed the taste and feel of soft lips and tongue. 

Without realizing he was doing it, the young prince truly did lose himself in the enjoyment of their mutual pleasure.  His hands seemed to obey Jarek automatically and followed his master’s movements as they continued to passionately kiss.  He moaned into the other man’s mouth when his nipples were rubbed and tweaked into hardness, and was rewarded with an approving groan from his possessor when he did the same thing.  All over they touched and Cailan’s entire body tingled and quivered delightfully.

At some point Jarek rolled over top of him and while their touches no lingered mirrored each other, both grasped and groped bare skin as they rubbed their bodies together.  When Cailan’s release washed over him, he grabbed his master’s muscled bottom and squeezed.  Above him Jarek growled out his delight and finished with him.

They panted heavily for several minutes, and while Jarek’s larger body was heavy against him, Cailan discovered he enjoyed the weight pressing down but not crushing him, especially since they continued to kiss slowly and gently.

A long while later Jarek pulled back enough to look him in the eyes and his hand came up to cup Cailan’s face, his thumb stroking the flush of passion on his cheeks.  “So beautiful, my petling.  Happy birthday.”

Cailan raised his head enough to offer a kiss of thanks. Jarek returned it sweetly, and then reluctantly left the bed to retrieve a damp towel to clean them.  When he was done, he rolled to his back, taking Cailan with him so the younger man was forced to cuddle into his side.  His head fell to Jarek’s chest and, feeling content, Cailan closed his eyes to sleep.

*****

The next morning was different from the others Cailan had experienced so far.  For the first time he woke up alone in his possessor’s large bed.  Looking around, he saw no sign of Jarek.  Getting out of bed, he pulled on a pair of leggings and looked into the bathing room.  The space was open enough that he could see right away his owner was not there, which left the parlor.  Certain he’d see the other man in the large room, it was a disappointment to find it empty.

Or, almost empty as he realized quickly.  Two maids were setting up the breakfast meal and apparently hadn’t heard him enter on the other side of the room.  He opened his mouth to call out to them, but stopped as he overheard some of their conversation.

“What do you think this means?” the smaller of the two asked her partner.

“I don’t know.  Maybe there are two who could fulfill it, or maybe neither one is who the prophecy speaks of.”

“But what if it is one of them and the wrong one is picked?”

“Don’t think like that, Sari.  We have to stay positive.”

“But the entire kingdom could be in danger if things go wrong.  There is talk of deception and treachery among our own!”

“Hush!  The people are loyal to the royal family, just like always.  The prophecies warn of outsider danger.”

“Only some of them warn of the danger coming from outside our borders, Lira.  That doesn’t mean there isn’t treachery within, and the salvation is said to come from outside not inside, so who do we trust?”

The taller of the two maids sighed.  “I don’t know, Sari.  I trust the king, but I know he’s distracted with Queen Kesla’s health.  And I trust Leader Jarek, but no one is omniscient.”

“Have you heard if Prince Sem or Princess Sana have said anything?”

“Prince Sem thinks he should be gifted with the other, but King Alaric says things cannot be fulfilled that way.  I’ve not heard if Princess Sana has spoken on the matter, but you know she says little anyway.”

“True.  I’ve never heard of a shyer royal.”

“It’s not just shyness, Sari.  You know she struggles to hear.”

“I know, poor thing.”

The women finished arranging the table and the one called Lira placed a sealed envelope at the single place setting before they moved to leave the room.  Cailan had remained quiet and still during the entire conversation, carefully bringing no attention to himself.  What he’d overhead was very interesting, but left him confused and very curious about the goings on in the kingdom.

When the women were gone, Cailan moved to the table and saw that the envelope had his name on it and was sealed with a wax impression of Jarek’s origin mark.  He unsealed the missive and read the message inside.

My prince,

King Alaric requested my presence early this morning.  I cannot promise a time of my return.  If I will be later than the midday meal, I will send word. Eat your fill when you awake.  I’ve added a book of Cylandrean economics and currency to your journaler and history primer.  You may spend the time till I return studying and reading as you wish.  I hope to see you soon.

The note was signed with an elaborate LJ, which Cailan assumed to represent “Leader Jarek”.

Sitting at the table, Cailan’s thoughts were awhirl.  He wanted to ask Jarek about what he’d overheard, but wasn’t sure if his eavesdropping would be looked down upon.  Taking just what he’d heard, it sounded as if there was discord or even fear over something.   

He began to absently eat the meal set out as he thought on other things he’d overheard.  One was that Queen Kesla was not in the best of health.  He remembered feeling she was much too thin, but other than that she hadn’t acted ill.  He wondered how serious her condition was.

He also now knew the names of Jarek’s two younger siblings, which he didn’t think was a secret.  He was fairly sure Jarek would have told him the names if he’d asked, since his master did say that Cailan would meet them eventually.  It was interesting to note that Princess Sana did not hear well.  In Arten a hand language had been developed for those born without hearing, and Cailan wondered if something like that was also taught in Cylandrea.

Thinking of the four siblings made Cailan believe that whatever matter the maids were worried about held the whole family’s attention, and clearly they weren’t in full agreement with what was to be done.  King Alaric had denied Prince Sem’s request to be gifted…whatever that meant.

He paused in his eating as he remembered hearing that phrase before, but he couldn’t remember where.  Thinking too hard on it didn’t help him, so he resumed eating, trying not to concentrate on anything in particular, and by the time he finished his meal he recalled Captain Reddick using that word the day before.  When Jarek had introduced him to the captain, Reddick had said that he’d heard Jarek had been gifted.

That meant that Cailan was the gift; something that his owner had actually told him he was from the start, but now that terminology felt more significant.  Was there another “gift”, possibly another concubine being given to the royal family?

Cailan’s fist clenched.  He didn’t like that thought at all.  He felt…threatened…and even possessive of his position with his master, and the thought of another vying for his attention made Cailan feel pressured to push his relationship with the military leader further than he knew he was actually ready to go.

“But what if I don’t?” he asked himself out loud.  Would he just be another face in the harem?

Immediately, past conversations made him shake his head.  No, Jarek had promised he’d never live among the harem, that he was special.  He still wasn’t sure what qualified him to be called that, but as he looked down at the ring on his finger and felt the ends of his clipped hair brushing his shoulders, he chose to believe it.

However, just because he wouldn’t be part of the harem didn’t mean that Jarek wouldn’t visit those who were a part of it.  He had every right to, Cailan knew, and if Cailan continued to hold out on him, it only made sense that eventually he would seek that satisfaction elsewhere.

“So what,” Cailan again spoke aloud, but he was just trying to convince himself he didn’t care.  In truth, he was starting to feel like Jarek was his as much as he was Jarek’s, and he didn’t want to share.

He didn’t know what he could do about it though.  A concubine didn’t have the right to dictate whom his master slept with…or didn’t sleep with as it was.  Maybe a time would come when he could hint to Jarek that he’d like to keep them monogamous, but he wasn’t sure that even hinting something so unheard of from a concubine would be an option.

He was getting distressed and knew it would be smart to concentrate on something else.  He looked to the desk in the parlor, remembering the note saying he could freely work on his studies, something that hadn’t been encouraged very much in Arten when he’d grown older.  Taking a minute to return to the bedroom and put on a clean tunic, he came back to the desk and settled in with his journaler and the books. 

Unfortunately, an hour later he’d not made it through one chapter of the history primer or the new economics book.  His mind was still focused on where Jarek might be and the conversation between the maids. 

Finally, he just set the books aside and moved to the window, wondering if perhaps he’d see a company training in the far off field.  There were no troops to be seen though, and he noted that it had started raining at some point in time.  The gray sky looked as dreary as his mood and rain dripped in rivulets down the window panes.

As he stared outside, an interesting tidbit from the maids’ conversation came back to him.  One of them had said something about a prophecy.  It had been said so naturally that he almost hadn’t caught that particular word, but prophecies were usually significant.  In his younger schooling days, he remembered studying some of his country’s ancient prophecies, both the false ones and the ones that came true. 

He looked toward the wall of books in the room.  If his own people had a written history of things like that, perhaps Cylandrea did as well.  If so, it was likely the books would he considered part of Cylandrean history.  Cailan couldn’t remember sorting any tome that dealt with that subject, but he still had almost half the history section to go through in the task Jarek had given him.  It was possible he hadn’t come across it yet.  With purpose he strode to the shelves and climbed the ladder to where he had left off on his task.  If he could find such a book, maybe he could find the prophecy the maids were talking about.

Ten minutes later he realized he’d put himself straight into a mistake.  Finding a book he thought might be helpful, he climbed down the ladder with it directly to where Jarek stood at the bottom. 

His owner did not look pleased.  Jarek’s arms were crossed dauntingly and he looked from the ladder to Cailan before raising a brow, silently demanding an explanation.  Only then did Cailan remember the rule that he wasn’t to climb the ladder unless Jarek was present.

“Um…” he mumbled, trying to think of how to explain himself.

“Um?” Jarek asked somewhat sardonically.  “That’s quite an excuse for disobeying me.”

Cailan shook his head quickly.  “I didn’t disobey you!  I mean…” he corrected when Jarek’s look became more foreboding.  “I didn’t do it on purpose.  There was a book I wanted to look for and I just forgot about not climbing the ladder.”

“I see,” Jarek stated before taking a firm grip on Cailan’s wrist and striding purposefully toward the bedroom.

“My lord?” Cailan said nervously.  “What are you doing?”

“I’m about to provide some assistance to your memory.”

Cailan wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, but he didn’t like the sound of it.  In the bedroom, Jarek left him standing alone for a minute while he went to his wardrobe, moved some clothing aside, and pulled out an intimidating looking item.  It was a long, semi-transparent, blue stick.  The end that Jarek held was about four inches around, but its thickness tapered off down its three-foot length.  It looked both stiff and flexible, and Cailan immediately understood what was coming.

“No, my lord!” he pleaded at the sight of his owner approaching with the stick.  He held his hands up and started backing away.  “It was an accident!”

“I believe you,” Jarek said evenly, “but I’m going to make sure it’s an accident that will not be repeated.”

“You’re going to beat me!” Cailan stated.  The words weren’t meant to accuse.  They were clearly born out of fear of the unknown.

Jarek paused, took a slow breath as he glanced heavenward, and then unhurriedly placed the stick on their bed.  “Come here, petling,” he requested, one hand opening palm up to him.

The younger man shook his head warily.

“Cailan.”  This time Jarek’s voice was firmer.  “Come to me.  Do not add to your disobedience.”

Already feeling reprimanded, but realizing showing fear as he did was cowardly, Cailan straightened his shoulders and took the few steps to his master.  His fingers were cold when he placed them in Jarek’s hand, but the other man did not mention that fact.  Jarek had them sit side by side on the edge of the bed.

“Cailan, my petling,” he said in a much less intimidating tone.  “I am not going to, nor would I, beat you.”

Cailan worked to keep eye contact with his owner.  “But you’re planning to hit me with a stick,” he debated.

“I’m planning to punish you for disobeying me.  I will not harm you, but sometimes poor decisions require a bit of sting as a reminder to not make them again.”

“But it was an accident,” Cailan argued.

“I know, but it was still disobedient.  As I’ve told you before, care and authority come with discipline.  Were you never punished as a child, petling?

Cailan shrugged.  “Not like this.”

“How were you reproved?”

“It was…mostly…things taken away, like a toy if I fought over it with a brother, or the chance to play outside when lessons were over if I fooled around instead of listened to the tutor.  When I was older it was other things that were important to me, like not being allowed to attend a special function, or being taken away from training if it was really something serious.”

“Never a physical reprimand?”

“I told you, that wasn’t allowed,” Cailan reminded.

“So you did.  I can understand why this is frightening to you.  Accepting pain as a punishment is different than experiencing it on the battlefield or during training.  It takes submission, which I know is a hard mindset for someone raised in a society that fights surrendering.  It’s a hard concept for a warrior, or even just a man.”

He paused and Cailan almost unconsciously filled in the gap.  “But you want me to submit to you.  You said so the other night, that you wanted me to give you my submission.”

“Yes, I do,” Jarek confirmed.  “It may be hard to believe, but I think you’ll feel better about these changes you’ve been forced to make if you submit willingly.  Even more, I believe there is submission inside you that would like to connect with an authority—hopefully with me—but you believe it makes you somehow lesser if you embrace it.”

Cailan’s hackles went up, feeling offended.  “You do see me as weak,” he accused purposefully this time.  He tried to pull away when Jarek gripped his chin and brought their gazes close.

“I do not,” the bigger man forcefully.  “I have seen your strength with a sword, the intelligence in your head, the skill of your hands, and the speed of your feet.  I admire all of it.  The inner strength you showed when you defended your little brother and then stepped into a life I know you both detested and were scared of blows me away.  There is nothing weak about you, Prince Cailan.  You are brave.  And I do not say there is submission inside you to bring you down.  I say it because it is beautiful and humbling to me when you relax into my leg as I feed you, or sink into my caress when we share a bed.  I think in those moments we both feel fulfilled in our roles.  It takes a strong and brave man to give himself to another, and it is a man true to himself who can experience joy in that giving and accept it.”

Jarek released Cailan’s chin and took his hand instead.  “Truthfully, my young prince, I cannot be sure I would have the courage and dignity to face this life change as you have done.”

His possessor’s words pacified and even gratified him a little with the praise he heard.  He turned Jarek’s ardent speech over in his head.  “I fulfill you when I give in?”

“Not give in,” Jarek corrected and looked like he struggled to explain himself.  “Your life is filled with stress and fear and worry right now, which is natural considering the course of events you’ve endured.  I’ve felt those emotions myself when involved in battle or when concerned for the safety of my family or one of my soldiers.  But when I see them in you, it is like a weight strapped to your back that was not meant to be there.”  His hand slid to Cailan’s shoulders and rubbed heavily.  “Then there are moments when you place yourself in my care willingly, and I feel like I am able to take that burden off of you.  I watch your tension leave and your body relax.  Even your face seems to release some tightness and you become even more beautiful to look upon.  I am fulfilled knowing I did that for you.”

Cailan thought on that, realizing it made an odd sort of sense to him, and a strange part of him found delight in knowing he could bring the other man more than sexual fulfillment.  It felt like there was more of a balance between them.

“Do you really believe there is strength and bravery in submission?” he asked after a couple minutes.

“I do,” Jarek answered sincerely after having been silent to let Cailan think.  “Or, I should say that those qualities are involved when it is the right thing to do.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, submission can be wrong just like it can be right.  It would be wrong for me to submit to my hunting dog, because he has no wisdom or care to give me, and there is no bravery or strength in doing such a thing, only foolishness.  But, it is right that I submit to my king because he is my leader and has my loyalty, although it’s not always an easy thing for me to do.”

“It’s not?”

Jarek shook his head.  “I can be a prideful man at times, and I do not always want to take direction from someone else.  It can be especially hard to obey that someone who broke your prized toy horse as a lad, or who once told the palace cook that your favorite food was green sprouts—which you hated—but then had to pretend to love for years to keep from hurting her feelings.”

Jarek made an intense grimace and Cailan couldn’t help a burst of laughter.  His owner grinned affectionately at him.

“Submission is not always easy when you are aware of someone’s weaknesses or feel that life isn’t treating you fairly, but if you recognize it is the right thing inside you to do, even when it isn’t the easy thing, then it shows inner strength when you accept its place in your life.”

Cailan sighed and looked at the new ring on his right hand.  “Kind of like a special gift, huh?  Something you choose to either give or hold back from someone.”

“Yes, that’s a good way to see it,” Jarek agreed.  “Although, if it’s a natural part of whom you are, then embracing it is like giving a gift to yourself.” 

“But with you,” Cailan said.  “If I don’t willingly give you my submission, you’ll take it.”

“Not in bed,” Jarek reminded.  “But as your authority, as your master, as someone who cares a great deal for you, I do require your obedience to me, and I may try at times to pull that burden I see off your back instead of removing it more gently.  It would be my hope that it is something you would eventually choose to give me all the time, and not something I’d have to force on a daily basis.”

He lifted Cailan’s hand and lightly kissed the knuckles.  “You are going to see weaknesses and faults in me as we learn of each other, and I know it will be a struggle at times to accept my authority, but it is life now.  Something you can know for certain though, is that even though I am the one over you, I have a great deal of respect for you.”

“I…respect you too,” Cailan admitted slowly.  “But…are you still going to discipline me?”

“Yes, now and in the future as needed.”

Cailan bit his lip.  “Where, um, where do you want me?”

Jarek squeezed his young prince’s hand and stood them both up.  “Hands on the chest as before, but take your leggings off first.”

Cailan’s face drained of some color at that command, but he moved to the chest and obediently took his leggings off.  Jarek’s heart went out to him when Cailan bent over and he saw the smaller man tremble slightly.  He placed his hand gently on the back of the young prince’s neck, rubbing a moment before petting soothingly down his back, and then lifting his tunic clear of his backside.

“Stay in place, petling, and do not put your hands back.”

Jarek retrieved the feared stick from the bed and moved behind Cailan.  He didn’t want to torment his concubine with strokes too fast to handle, but neither did he wish to drag out the punishment.  He tapped once, and then brought the stick down in the first stroke.  Cailan’s breath hissed out and his knees locked in place.  Jarek saw the shock of the strike in the reaction and gave the young man the chance to settle and mentally accept the stroke before tapping for range and applying the second stripe. 

Cailan squeaked at the impact and panted.  “How many?” he asked, his voice sounding tight.

Jarek rubbed down his back again.  “I’ll know.  Stay as you are, petling.”

Two stripes showed clearly on Cailan’s cheeks, blemishes that were temporary but which Jarek wished weren’t necessary.  He tapped once about an inch below the second stripe and then brought the stick down a third time.  A gasp and Jarek saw the young man’s legs quiver as he forced himself to stay in place.  Again he waited for Cailan to manage the stroke before moving to the next one.  This time he tapped at the crease where his bottom met his thigh, and then brought the stick down with accuracy.

Cailan squealed and the sound was followed by a muted sob.  Jarek knew he was done and tossed the stick onto the bed before gathering the smaller man into his embrace.

“Well done, my petling.  Well done.  Shh, now.”  Hands fisted into his tunic and the choking sound of tears being forced back was made into his chest.

“Am I…forgiven,” Cailan’s muffled voice asked.

“Of course you are, sweet one.  I forgave you before I punished you.”

Cailan sighed and his body eased from some of its rigidness.  “I will not forget next time,” he promised softly.

Jarek hugged him a little tighter.  “I believe you.”

The slighter man drew in a shaky breath.  “That really hurt,” he stated with quiet fervency.

“Yes, I know.  I’ve been on that end and I know that was not easy, but you did well, young one.  Would you like to lie down?”

Cailan’s head bobbed in affirmation to the question and Jarek moved them, still embracing, into the bed.  Cailan stretched out delicately, making sure his backside touched nothing.  Jarek got into the bed with him, slipped his hand under the young man’s shirt and began lightly scratching the warm and slightly damp back while Cailan composed himself.

*****

“Why did King Alaric summon you this morning?” Cailan asked awhile later.  They were still stretched out together in bed and Cailan was calmer than he had been, although the stripes on his backside ached dreadfully.

“A situation has arisen that needed my personal attention,” Jarek answered readily enough, but the vagueness of his response left Cailan more curious.

“Is there a threat from another kingdom?  Has someone declared war?” the young man asked.  Those would definitely be issues that could apply to the conversation he’d overheard, and it would certainly affect the entire royal family.

“No, we are not under threat of attack.  Quite the opposite in a sense,” the bigger man said puzzlingly.

Cailan sighed and rolled away from his owner, careful not to press weight onto his backside as he turned away.

“Petling?”

“What?”

“Is something upsetting you?”

“Yes.”

A pause and then, “What is it?”

Cailan sighed again.  “You won’t really answer my questions, will you?  Not the ones that reveal more than you want me to know anyway.”

“I thought I had answered them,” Jarek replied sincerely.

“I guess,” Cailan agreed with a grump in his tone.  “But you are so vague.  You do this often when I ask a question.  You actually reveal very little, and sometimes you change the subject very subtly.  Sometimes I realize you are doing it and sometimes I don’t, but I’m starting to think you are hiding something from me, and that makes me worry about my fate because it has become that my whole life, my very existence, rests in your hands.  I trust you in some things, my lord…in more than I would have expected, but whatever you are hiding from me makes me wonder if my trust is misplaced.”

There was silence, and then Cailan felt the big man climb off the bed and the soft padding sound of his feet took him across the room.  After a minute Cailan turned to his other side and saw Jarek standing by the far window, looking at the rain watering the ground outside.  The younger man could only see his possessor’s profile, but it appeared sad.

There was quite a long while of silence before Jarek spoke softly, his attention still out the window.  “You are right that I hide things from you, petling, but it is because I must, not because I do not wish to share them or that I don’t want you to know.”

“You speak in riddles again,” Cailan said with sad frustration.

“I’m sorry, my prince.  There is a lot to teach you, but some things you must learn without my interference.”

Cailan stood abruptly, wincing as the action briefly heightened the throb in his backside.  “How can I learn what I need if not from you?  I have barely any interaction with anyone else,” he stated with growing upset while tenderly pulling on his leggings.

Jarek ran a hand through his hair, making the silver in it shimmer vividly for a moment.  “I know, but there are things I must learn before I can allow your knowledge.”

That didn’t sound right.  Cailan narrowed his eyes, his mind starting to think some very unpleasant thoughts.  “Things you must learn before me?” he said slowly.  “You call me a ‘gift’?  And you want my submission?”  His fists clenched and his voice growled as he came to a conclusion.  “A pawn.”

Jarek turned from the window, his expression confused.  “What?”

“A pawn.  I am a pawn!” Cailan stated loudly, his voice carrying across the room.  “You seek to earn my trust because you have brought me in as a player in a game, but I don’t know the game and keeping me ignorant prevents me from winning,” he accused.

Jarek looked alarmed.  “No, petling….”

“Do not call me that!” Cailan ordered.  “It is a joke, a tease, a lie, a manipulation of me to have your way.”

“I do not manipulate you,” Jarek insisted, his own voice raising.  “Nor do I lie to you.  I have been honest with what I can share.”

“I do not believe you!”  Cailan came close to shouting.

The bigger man actually flinched, looking almost in pain.

“If you do not lie to me then tell me why I am ‘special’, as you say.  Why am I a ‘gift’?  Why do you not take me as is expected of a concubine?  Why do you pretend you care?”

“I do care!”

“But not about me.  You care about this game you have brought me into.”

“Cailan…”

“Tell me!”

“I cannot!” Jarek roared, this time making Cailan flinch despite his aroused anger.

The room fell into a silence filled with tension and the echo of their conflict.  Jarek walked to a divan and sank wearily into it, looking like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.  It reminded the younger man of his owner’s words so recently spoken, of seeing Cailan carrying the burden of stress on his back. 

Cailan was still angry, but something nudged his legs into motion and he crossed the room to sit beside the other man.  He winced as the pressure of sitting increased the pain of his stripes.

“You may lean on me so you don’t hurt,” Jarek offered quietly, although he didn’t look at his concubine.  “But if you wish not to, I understand.”

Cailan didn’t move initially, and they sat together in strained silence for several minutes before he chose to accept the olive branch however upset he still felt.  Carefully he shifted until the weight was off his bottom and he leaned into Jarek’s side, stretching his legs out on the couch as he did so. 

Jarek’s arm almost tentatively wrapped around him, but his head looked away toward the window and the grayness outside.  After a long while, he spoke.

“Have you ever been given a duty you were afraid was doomed to failure?”

Cailan, despite leaning against the older man, found he also couldn’t look at his owner as he answered.  “Besides the duty of going from prince to concubine?” he asked, and continued before Jarek could reply.  “I have spent my whole life knowing failure was something I was born into.  It is the lot of a silver-born, to never be good enough.”

Almost absently Jarek replied.  “You are so much more than you realize, Prince Cailan.”

The younger man sighed.  “I wish you would tell me why you say that.”

“I know,” Jarek said sorrowfully and his arm tightened slightly, although he still didn’t look at his concubine.  “I can tell you one reason why, but I fear you won’t believe me.”

Cailan was honest enough with himself to know Jarek had reason to fear.  He wasn’t sure what he could believe from his owner right then.  “Tell me,” he requested after a moment.

With his eyes still gazing out the window, Jarek spoke.  “You are right in something you’re thinking, although you’re right in a wrong way.”  He chuckled without humor.  “Yes, I know.  More riddles.  What I can say is that you are not a pawn, but you are right that I do believe you have a purpose you do not know yet.”  His hand rubbed lightly where it rested on Cailan’s arm.  “I want very much to do right by you, Cailan.  I want it for a lot of reasons that I wish I could expound on, but I can’t.  But there is one reason that I can tell you.  I want to be right for you, to help you, to be trusted by you because my heart urges me to.”  He finally turned away from the window and looked down at Cailan, who felt the eyes on him and looked up.  “Believe me or don’t, but I love you my prince,” Jarek said softly, his eyes and voice never wavering.

Cailan’s eyes widened in shock.  “You love me?” he gasped out.  “How?”

“You react as if you believe you are hard to love,” Jarek noted.  “But I know your family loves you.  I could see the love of your parents the day I took you away, and the distress on your brothers’ faces despite them saying nothing.  Being a silver-born does not make you unlovable, my prince, even if you’ve convinced yourself otherwise.”

“I didn’t mean that.  It’s just…so fast, and I am a concubine.  I’ve never heard of someone falling in love with one.”

“It is fast,” Jarek agreed.  “But I do not believe I fell in love with a concubine.  I fell in love with you.”

“But you’ve only known me four days.  How can you feel this?  When could this have happened?”

“I came to realize how I felt towards you this morning when I was with my brother,” the big man said almost in reminiscence, “but for me it started before you even set foot on Cylandrean soil.”

Cailan shook his head.  “You didn’t even know me before then.”

“Not as I do now, but you touched a place in me that no one else had ever reached the day of the alliance.  When you spoke on behalf of your little brother, I admired you so much.  And then you stood in his place, clearly terrified and heartbroken, but loving your brother and your family and your countrymen so much that you sacrificed everything for them.  I yearned in that moment to be worthy of you, and even sent up a prayer to be able to offer you a life and love equal to what you were giving up.”

Cailan looked away as his eyes grew embarrassingly wet.  “Why do you have to say things like that?” he inquired with frustration.  “I feel like a pendulum with no guidance, swinging one moment towards a belief that you are a good man whom I can trust, and in the next moment swinging the opposite way because my confidence in you falters when you speak in riddles and hide things from me.”

“I am so sorry, Cailan,” Jarek said unhappily.  “I truly do not mean to confuse you.”

“I just wish I understood.”

“I know, love.  The best I can offer is that I believe it will be made clear to you one day, but I do not know how or when.”

Cailan thought about that in silence.  He looked down at his hand and contemplated the gift of the ring Jarek had given him.  He considered Jarek’s allowance to him to cut his hair, and even to give half the locks to his father when he next saw him.  He reflected on the fact that he had not been raped or abused in his time in Cylandrea; confused…yes, but he had come to no harm.  And while he didn’t like it, it was true that while Jarek admitted to hiding things from him, his owner hadn’t actually lied to him that Cailan could see.

“Do you truly love me?” he asked quietly.

Jarek answered in all seriousness.  “I do, my prince.  Just having you in my presence brings me joy.  Learning your strengths and vulnerabilities motivates me to know you better.  I ache when I see you struggle, and I feel blessed in the moments you let yourself connect to me.”

Cailan’s response was soft.  “I do feel like there is a connection to you, a…bond that I have not experienced before.  I don’t know how to respond to it.  It makes me feel uncertain and confused, yet safe and cared for too.  I don’t know what to believe.”

“I want to tell you that you can believe in me, but I think that is something that you can only decide within yourself.”  Jarek sighed.  “I can offer to do something, but I do not know how much help it will be.”

“What is it?” Cailan inquired.

“I know you have many questions, and I want to do anything I can to help ease your confusion, or at least lessen your anxiety.  This afternoon my presence is required elsewhere.  While I am gone, I’d like you to consider writing down all your questions, as many as you can think of.  I fear that there will be several that I will not be able to answer, but I will promise that I will answer what I can to the fullest extent I am able.  Would that be helpful to you, pe…my prince?”

Cailan caught on to his owner’s near blunder, and something in him responded positively to Jarek’s quick correction.  The man had taken Cailan seriously about not being called the endearment, and was trying to honor the request.  It was a minor thing, but the integrity…the humility…that it showed in his possessor helped recover some of the ground that had been lost between them.

“It might help to write my questions down,” he agreed.  “I’d appreciate any answers you can give me.  And,” he looked up and tentatively yet purposefully touched Jarek’s cheek, making sure he had the attention of his master’s blue eyes.  “I am sorry for my shouts and accusations.  It still…upsets…me, but I will try to be patient and understand as I am able.  If…if you want to call me petling, you may.  I do not mind the name.”

Jarek’s hand came up over the fingers Cailan had pressed against his cheek.  “My petling,” he murmured.  “I love you.”

Cailan nodded once, accepting the words although still feeling a bit like he was on shaky ground, but he was willing to receive the light kiss that Jarek leaned in and gave him.

*****

A couple hours later, Cailan was again alone and mildly distressed.  There was an unsettled feeling to the whole day, beginning with the confusing conversation he’d overheard from the maids, to his punishment, then his quarrel with Jarek, and now to his present solitude.  All he knew of Jarek’s current absence was that the king had required his master’s presence with a visitor at the palace.  Jarek had promised to be back for the evening meal, and in the meantime Cailan was to write down all the questions that had been building up in him.

With journaler and pen in hand, Cailan chose to lounge on a soft couch in the bedroom than sit at the desk in the parlor.  It felt more conducive to what he was doing.

Despite having innumerable wonderings, it took a few minutes of trying to order them in his mind before he was able to begin writing them down; but once he started, it seemed like a never-ending flow of questions.  He wrote down his curiosities about Jarek’s family, particularly the siblings he hadn’t met and Queen Kesla’s health. 

He scribbled out less important, but still nagging, speculations on the land and history of Cylandrea, and even a minor curiosity on how the water in the bathing room stayed constantly heated. 

Quite a few of his more important questions had to do with his own role and things that had happened, like why Jarek called him a companion to Charon instead of a concubine, why Jarek kept referring to him as a ‘gift’, and many others.

Another group of questions were things that Cailan had been meaning to ask, but seemed to keep forgetting.  He wanted to know about the colors he saw in the Cylandrean’s hair besides black, and why Jarek’s and the king and queen’s hair shimmered as it did.  He was curious how and why it was that the children of this country were always born in multiples, and when Jarek might finally have time to fully show him the palace and then hopefully the land beyond its walls.

By the time he could finally think of nothing else to ask, he’d filled four pages, front and back, in his journaler.  A quick count revealed nearly fifty queries had been written, and he had a feeling he’d be adding to those as time went on.  He wondered just how many Jarek would actually fully answer.

A moment of resentment shot through him, but he took a slow breath and tried to think reasonably.  While he didn’t fully understand it, he was able to somewhat accept that his master was bound by either duty, or morality, or something just as significant that made him tight-lipped about certain things. 

Cailan was vaguely associating Jarek’s secrets to what he knew of the royal advisors in his father’s kingdom.  Those individuals who served the king of Arten in such a personal way were required to take a very solemn oath.  They could reveal nothing of their meetings with King Saxon to anyone who was not present when they were taking place.  To be loose-lipped about even the most minor of details resulted in either life imprisonment or death.  If Jarek was facing a similar situation, then Cailan could understand how secretive he was at times, and could actually respect his owner’s integrity to his role.  There were times every man was beholden to his societal position.  Sometimes that duty was pleasant and sometimes not.

A spark of insight hit Cailan as he considered Jarek’s responsibilities.  He was high in authority and the society of Cylandrea, but his was still a servant to certain things.  He was under the authority of his king.  He had obligations to his soldiers and his country, things that he would have to put above his own needs and wants at times.

He was a servant and a leader. 

Cailan, likewise, also was a servant to his roles both as a prince of Arten and a concubine in Cylandrea, and he recognized that Jared had been doing what he could to make that difficult position easier.  He couldn’t fully divulge aspects of his life, and Cailan, being this strong man’s servant, shouldn’t expect him too.  It was truly the prince and concubine warring with each other inside him. 

He thought on that for a long while, and on several things Jarek had told him over the last four days.  He ended up writing down one more question on the paper: If and when it is ever possible, will you fully explain your secrets to me?

Shortly after he finished writing that final question, he heard the sounds of his owner returning.  Footsteps in the parlor preceded Jarek’s appearance in the bedroom.  Cailan looked to him, preparing to ask how his afternoon had gone, but it was immediately clear that the time they’d been apart had not been pleasant for his master.  Jarek looked sad and angry and a slew of other negative emotions.  The only pleasing sight was the way his eyes mildly lit up when they looked to Cailan.

The younger man, almost forgetting completely about the questions he’d spent the afternoon composing, hurried to his owner.

“My lord, what is the matter?  What has gone wrong?”

Automatically his hands had come up and he was gripping Jarek’s arms in concern.  Jarek met his eyes, but then looked to the ceiling.

“I wish more than anything I could talk with you about it, petling.  I’d be appreciative of a listening ear, but I am not at liberty.”

That didn’t anger Cailan as it had earlier that day.  He could clearly see that his owner was tense and stressed.  Getting riled about secrets that weren’t yet his to know would not help him soothe this man he’d learned that he cared about.  He put a hand up and touched Jarek’s cheek.

“If it must be a secret, then it must,” he said, trying to alleviate some of the strain he saw in the bigger man.  “I will not press.  Are you home for the night now?”

“I am,” Jarek confirmed as he pulled his gaze away from the ceiling.

“Then we will make the night pleasant,” Cailan assured him.  His hands slid to the tunic that draped across his owner’s torso and undid the buttons before pulling it off of the broad shoulders.  “Come and bathe,” he offered before dropping to his knees and unlacing the black, leather boots his master wore. 

With the shoes removed, he stood and took Jarek’s hand, leading the bigger man to the bathing room.  “Finish undressing and get in,” he directed.  “I will get soap and a sponge and then I’ll join you.”

There was a cabinet that held the bathing provisions and Cailan took the time to smell the different soaps it held, eventually choosing one scented of mint and pine.  He undressed quickly and then moved into the hot water of the pool.  He flinched slightly as the heat made him very aware of the tenderness of his striped backside, but he tried to put the uncomfortable sensation aside and joined Jarek on one of the seats within the water.  He was pleased, but a bit surprised, to see that his owner seemed amused by something.  “Why are you grinning like that?”

Jarek’s grin got a bit bigger.  “Because my little prince has gotten bossy with me,” he explained.  “Perhaps I should have placed an extra stripe on his bottom.”

Cailan blushed vividly at both the reminder of his punishment and the realization that he had been ordering his owner about.  That was out of line and he knew it.  “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.  “I wasn’t thinking….”

“Petling,” Jarek interrupted tenderly.  “I only tease you.  I know you are not trying to usurp me.  I think that you are trying to make me feel better?” he said the observation as a question.

Cailan nodded.  “I wanted to help.”

“You are,” Jarek told him, his words earnest.  “And I’d like you to keep doing as you were.  I trust you know how far you can respectfully go.  So, what would you like from me?”

Cailan relaxed with the reassurance and moved off the seat, tugging at Jarek’s hand.  “Come stand over here.”

Jarek nodded and allowed Cailan to place him as the younger man wished.  Then the big man relaxed into the pleasant feelings and scents of the sponge moving across his body as the younger man began to bathe him. He felt no shame at his arousal when Cailan deftly washed his privates, although Cailan appreciated that he refrained from commenting at the mutual state his own body was in. 

Both men also found it pleasant when Cailan washed his owner’s hair, massaging the scalp as he worked the soap through the dark strands, and then rinsed them off until they were clean.

When Cailan was done and would have urged his master out of the bath, Jarek instead put his arms around the smaller man, pressing them together chest to chest as he moved to the deepest part of the pool.  Eventually Cailan’s feet did not touch the bottom and when he tried to nudge Jarek back toward the shallow end, his master shook his head.

“Wrap your legs around me, petling.  Let me hold you.”

Self-consciously, Cailan did as requested, his legs wrapping around Jarek’s waist and his arms over the man’s broad shoulders.  “I feel…young,” he said awkwardly.

“You are young, my little love,” Jarek replied.  “But that’s not a bad thing.  You are still fully a man.”

“Then why do you wish to hold me like this?” Cailan asked, never truly having seen two men embrace each other as they were doing. 

Jarek shrugged without concern.  “I enjoy having you in my arms, and I thought I might like the feel of your legs around me…and I do.  Do you mind it so much?”

“I’m…not sure.”

Jarek kissed his cheek.  “Just try to enjoy the feel of us together, the pleasure of where our bodies touch even innocently.  There is no one to see and no one to judge.”

Cailan tried to relax, but didn’t really succeed until Jarek pressed him to place his head on the bigger man’s shoulder.  The position had Cailan closing his eyes and finally letting some of his stiffness fall away.

“Have you fallen asleep, my prince?” Jarek asked a while later.

“No, I am just comfortable,” Cailan replied easily.

Jarek chuckled.  “Good.  So am I, but I’d like to be more comfortable.  Look at me a moment, please.” 

Cailan lifted his head and gave the bigger man his attention.

“Did you write down questions for me this afternoon?” Jarek asked more seriously than Cailan wanted to hear in that relaxed moment.

“Yes, my lord,” he answered honestly.

“I thought you might,” Jarek stated.   “If it is your wish, we can go now and talk about them.  But, if you’re willing, I’d rather eat our meal together, and then spend the rest of the night in our bed.  I will let it be your preference this time though.”

Cailan considered the offer seriously and found he was a bit surprised at his preferred choice.  “The questions can hold until tomorrow.”

The smaller man actually felt his master’s shoulders relax.  Clearly Jarek wanted no more stressful issues to be a part of his day.  “Thank you, sweet one.  Let’s dry and dress.  Our bodies will have the wrinkles of old men if we stay in this water much longer.”

They both laughed and casually left the pool.  They dried separately, and then dressed in the most informal of clothes before heading to their dinner.  As Cailan had come to expect, the table was set and ready for them, but before they could settle in, the younger man put a hand on Jarek’s arm. 

“Let me,” he requested.

Clearly, the other man didn’t know what Cailan meant, but he offered silent acquiescence as Cailan directed him to sit on the chair at the table, and then almost shyly sat in Jarek’s lap.  Instead of leaning against him as was most common when they ate this way, Cailan remained upright and reached for the food.

“Cailan….” Jarek began in very subtle warning.

“Please…trust me,” Cailan requested.  “We’ve argued today.  There are unanswered questions and unresolved issues, but I see that has not been the only difficult part of your day.”  He felt his face heat as he prepared to say this next part.  “You believe there is submission in me.  I’m not exactly sure what that really means for me or even if I like it, but the reality is that my position expects me to be subservient to you.  So, let me explore it, and since it has not been an easy day, let me try to care for you as I am able.”

Jarek clearly studied him, considering the request.  “All right, but I will stop you if I feel it necessary.”

Cailan nodded his understanding, then reached for the silver fork by the plateful of food and put a bite of succulent smelling meat on it.  He held it up for Jarek to see.  “I want you to relax and not have to work even at eating,” he explained.

One corner of Jarek’s mouth tipped in a grin, but he opened his mouth willingly when Cailan offered him the bite.  Slowly, Cailan felt Jarek gradually relax further into his seat, although his arms seemed to tighten around Cailan’s waist as he ate bite by bite. 

“You are not eating,” Jarek said disapprovingly at one point. 

“I want you to have your fill first,” Cailan told him. 

“And I want to know my prince is having his hunger sated as well,” Jarek disputed.  “Care for yourself as you are caring for me.  It is important to me.”

Cailan nodded and obediently took a bite of food for himself.  It felt strange to do so after so many days of eating from Jarek’s hand, but he understood his master’s desire.  At that point Cailan alternated their bites until the food was gone save for the sweet bits provided for dessert.  Foregoing the silverware, Cailan picked up a cherry iced in chocolate and held it to Jarek’s lips.  His owner ate it slowly, and then cupped Cailan’s head, bringing him down for a kiss that had them sharing the flavor of the dessert.

“I want you so much,” Jarek whispered.

Cailan groaned, feeling his own arousal quickly building.  He was barely aware of Jarek lifting him and moving them to the closest couch, or of how quickly they both seemed to get naked.

Jarek kept Cailan straddling his lap as they kissed and rubbed against each other.  The big man’s hands cupped Cailan’s bottom, causing his concubine to squirm and whimper.  More gently Jarek rubbed the skin and ridges caused by his stick.

“Do you still hurt, petling?”

“They are just tender,” Cailan answered, his chin ducking down in embarrassment.

“I’m sure they are,” Jarek responded.  “I will put cream on your marks tonight.  I do not wish you to bruise overly much.”  His hand moved from Cailan’s backside to his erection and began to stroke.  Cailan groaned in pleasure.  “Touch me too,” Jarek ordered, his voice dropping to the gravely sound it became when he was aroused.

Cailan did so, and then looked in Jarek’s eyes, their gazes never wavering as they each gripped the other and brought their arousal to completion.

Later, when they had moved to their bed, Jarek did as he promised and carefully applied a thick cream to Cailan’s stripes.