Firsts

It’s not the first for you, but it’s a first for me.  First time willingly accepting someone as an authority over me.  First time acknowledging that I don’t want to be the one calling the shots.  First time in a serious relationship.  The first time getting a spanking…ever.

I can’t believe how much it hurt.  I expected some sting…some burn, enough to make me squirm.  But tears?  I didn’t expect them, but they’re here, dripping down my cheeks as I try to find a manly way to wipe them away.  It’s another first—first time crying in front of you.

I’m not sure I can handle it.  I’m not sure I can handle me.  If I can’t handle me, how can you handle me?

I want to run away.  It feels too embarrassing to be here, to stand in front of you with wet eyes, a bare bottom, and red skin shining like a beacon.  But my pants are around my ankles, preventing my escape, and suddenly you’re holding me tightly against you, one hand viselike around me while the other falls to my bottom and rubs at the sensitive skin.  Your voice is one of the deepest I’ve ever heard, and it gets even deeper when you whisper to me.

“I love you.  You did so good, sweetheart.  It’s done now.  No hard feelings, hon.”

No hard feelings.  It’s true.  Every hard feeling I had just now vanished with your words.  You were telling me the truth.  Actions have consequences, but now it’s in the past and you’re still here.  I’m still here…and I love you.  I really do.  No more hard feelings…just a hard hand that is being very tender now as you hold me.

It’s been a difficult first, but I know I…we…have made the right choice.