Sunday, December 6, 2015

The Worst!



Has anyone besides me ever noticed that every spanking is the worst?  Seriously, I can’t be the only Brat or Submissive or Pet or Slave or whatever floats your boat to have realized this.
Maybe you don’t agree with me, but I still say I’m right.  Like today my partner, Cashel (Yes, I know he’s got a weird name.  It’s Irish and he goes by Cash.  But I digress); Cash got royally peeved at me because I forgot to do the laundry.  All right, maybe I let myself forget about it because I didn’t want to do it, but I digress again.  When Cash discovered he was completely out of clean underwear (sheesh, and I thought going commando was sexy), he seemed to think my error deserving of a butt-warming.  I could say he only used his hand, but that’s the worst!  With his hand his fingers can curve slightly and hit all those little cracks and crevices that seem extra sensitive.  He had me squirming in moments and soon after I was promising to hand wash his shirts, socks, underwear and every hanky he owned if he’d just stop!
I guess I can be glad he didn’t use that awful wooden spoon we use to make sauce.  That thing is the worst!  Did you know I got bit by a horse once?  Probably not, but it was awful.  The bite didn’t break the skin or anything, but it was like I could feel my poor skin bruising as soon as those teeth sank into me.  That’s what the spoon is like.  Granted, Cash doesn’t leave bruises behind…at least none that last for more than a few hours…but that spoon feels like I’m getting bit over and over again.
Oh wow, that makes me think of the one time he used a hairbrush on my poor bum.  That was the worst!  It was his mother’s brush, all solid wood and looking polished.  He used it because I lost my temper and slammed a door (well, four doors) while we were house-sitting his momma’s place one weekend.  I told him afterward that is was unfair to introduce a new implement into things when we hadn’t discussed it, but he said if we were home he would have paddled me and a hairbrush was essentially a substitute paddle.  He also said it was unfair of me to lose my temper with him the way I did, and warned me that just because I have red hair doesn’t mean I have to have a red-hot temper.  I personally think that’s the pot calling the kettle black because he has red hair too and you should see him start yelling when his favorite cricket team is losing.  I wonder what he’d do if I threatened him with our paddle when that happens…
Speaking of our paddle, it is the worst!  It’s this awful thing that his dad made when he was a boy and used on Cash.  I’m not sure why Cash kept the danged thing till now.  I would have burned it as soon as my pa stopped using it on me if I had the chance.  Instead he uses it to heat my rear end instead of his now.  I told him I don’t need his sentimental junk around the house.  He told me that he’ll get rid of his dad’s paddle when I get rid of my pap’s watch that my dad gave me.  That is NOT going to happen, so both still appear to have permanent places in our home.
I’ll tell you what does NOT have a permanent place in our house—at least I’m working to make it that way.  It’s Cash’s leather belt.  Talk about sting, burn and never-ending heat!  Leather is the worst!  I’m not quite brave enough to throw away or burn the thing.  Cash has a rule about damaging or “losing” other people’s things, so I don’t dare; but I have no qualms putting it in places he isn’t likely to find it.  I’ve bought the man several lovely pairs of suspenders over the years.  He can use those to hold his pants up if he fears they’ll fall too far south.  Although, I like to remind him that I’ll never complain about his pants giving in to gravity (I’ll complain about losing mine sometimes, but never his!).  The man looks terrific in a bottom-hugging pair of briefs…sigh.
Speaking of my man, he’s yelling for me. 
“Devlin! Get your little devil-butt down here!”
Crap.  Did you know that my name means “descendant of the unlucky one”?  I’ve got the feeling I’m about to live up to my name.  I hope that whatever he’s irked about doesn’t make him want to send me for a switch.  Those things are the worst!

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